bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
