Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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