I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
