the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
