she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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