Her vagina should come with caution tape.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
