His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just puked most of my soul out..
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