he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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