I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize