oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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