He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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