Well apparently he's into motor boating.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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