I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
