When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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