that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
