is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
