the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
