I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
