Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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