Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm bleeding and have questions
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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