No stitches, just platelets and will power
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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