.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Couch. On fire.
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