u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I need to stop coming to work sober
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
