Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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