i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
