There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
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The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
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Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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