Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
