Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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