If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
