I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
