gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
