I accidentally burped into my bong.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
