Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
ttyl tear gas
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
