Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
