i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
