sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
