im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
