Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize