Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
