just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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