i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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