hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
