I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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