I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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