Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
