My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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