Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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