He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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