Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
