his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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