I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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