Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
