it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
