He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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