that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my sisters under your porch take her home
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
