I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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