Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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