I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
