Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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