I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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