Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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