My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
that is very illegal...i love you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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